True strength

This quote is all I'm going to say today.
"Anyone can give up. It's the easiest thing in the world to do...
But to hold it together when everyone would understand if you fell apart... That is TRUE STRENGTH!"

Just ask

I asked myself today when was the last time I felt comfortable asking anybody for anything. For advise, for help, or even for directions? In the last fifteen years since I've started working I've asked lots of people questions so you'd think I could ask for myself! And you'd think as easy as it is for me to ask questions for others it would come easy to ask on my own behalf. It doesn't! I understand life would be so much easier if we just asked for what we wanted. Not hints not what ifs no suggestions. Just ask what we want! This is hugely important for me to get in all of life and in the sake of my health I must do it now. I have a hard time saying I'm sorry I can't eat that or to my family please really dont make my fav cookies. Don't talk to me about eating my fav foods or offer them to me. I'm not yet real good at asking for help or guidance (I will get better) but please hear me when I do muster the courage to ask you for something or to ask not for something. The thing is I want, I need, I desire, I yearn yet I usually dont ask. Mostly I guess because I fear someone will denie me! Who? Really it's just me for not asking. Wishful thinking has very rarely produced what I wanted! So today I will get off my fanny and go for what I want. If I need help I'll ask.

When your going through hell

I must say I'm on a roller coaster. I do real good then real bad. Tring to find my ground I guess. I was so very upset with not choosing some of the right food recently. I am however working out at least an hour a day and while it's not all good it is all better than the before Destiny. All I know is you just keep going as Winston Churchill said when your going through he'll just keep going! So I'm gonna keep going.

It's OK

This week hasn't been great for me on the scale not bad just not great. But I admit I feel like I did really well. I must ask myself why is it do easy for you to go back to your unhealthy ways? I really do feel better when doing good. It's the first step the first day man it's soo very hard to make the first move.I sure hope since I'm moving I keep moving! I want this. And to all that think and are waiting for me to fail bring it bi$$h! I'm going to do this! Nothing stopping me but me!

Regret or sacrifice

On Monday nights I teach a class and the people bring snacks to this class to share. This week the family that had snacks choose pizza. Now I'm not real sure why but pizza is something I've really struggled with. Anyway all of the men stood up to get some pizza (that's a whole other page)and I thought to myself it'll be fine if you just have one piece. And the truth is one piece for me would have been amazing. You see I could easily eat 6. Then I looked around the room again and a few woman were up getting a piece or two one woman took 3 or 4 but 3 woman didn't move from their chairs. I looked at the crowd again and realized I wanted other things in life but pizza. I'm almost certain all the woman would have ate the pizza if it was magic calorie free pizza but it wasn't of course so they sacrificed the instant yummyness for something they wanted more. It was then I really was honest and said you know I really would have regretted eating that pizza. So I really had 2 choices regret or sacrifice. I watched the biggest loser last night not a show I regularly watch but I must say it inspired me. The lady who won said when dieting seems like it's got too hard you think of the day you had enough and started dieting just how hard was that day. I know the days leading me to this were overrun with regret and since I don't want regret in life anymore I MUST realize you have 2 choices. Regret or sacrifice it's for me to choose and then live with.

I'm back

Ok so I know not many people look at this but for those that do I'm back I'm committed again here we go

Babe Ruth

In honor of baseball season today I'll go with a quote from Babe Ruth."Don't let the fear of striking out hold you back. So again this made me think about why can't I wholly commit to fitness for myself what is holding me back? So then I said to myself some days your gonna strike out but as I've always said I'll go down swinging! Today I will keep this short even if you fail don't you want to have gave it all. Today I'll try very hard to give it my all but I admit I'm tired and stressed! Much Love-Destiny

I will do it

Last night I taught a class on raising spiritual healthy children. I spoke about how you can't just leave it to chance. You must plan for it. I know all of my struggles would be better handled if I planned for them better. Money,home,and of course my weight lose. Most of my friends and family will tell you I'm a planner to the point of fault. I miss out on some fun because of this! I however often do not plan my money my time and I really really lack planning for my weight lose. Last night on the way home I thought Destiny be honest why are you not making plans for these things. If I'm going to be honest it's because I'm afraid I'll fail. If I have a plan and I fail what does that mean. And why do I think this is not failing. I admit I knew when I began to plan my friends and families would know I had goals and they would know if I fall short. It's as if I believed they could not see my ever increasing size. I allowed myself to believe if no one saw me eat it didn't count. Who really am I tring to fool. I admit I've always been a little more ok being fat then some people but I did have sadness and struggles from it. Most of which I hid under my sense of humor. So today I say I will stop hiding. I will stop make believing my friends don't know I'm living a weight lose battle. I will stop leaving my health to chance. I will say this is an issue for me I really could use your support. I will actively plan to achieve my health goals. Through my faith all things are possible.Today I will not just say I will do it. I will do it! Much Love-Destiny

Inevitable dream

I had not yet really thought about what I was going to say today when a good friend sent a quote. "So many of our dreams at first seem impossible then they seem improbable and then when we summon the will the soon become invitable!" Christopher Reeve. So the reason I share this with you is for some reason I've gone through the last decade believing I could never be fit. I'll admit I still struggle with this. It seems it's simply mind blowing for me to think of myself as a fit person. As I'm a little ways down the road on my weight lose journey I'm not sure if I didn't understand how heavy I'd gotten or my brain just hasn't caught up with my body and realize I've lost weight. It's pretty hard to keep going when you don't think you look any different. I do feel a million times better so for today I'll keep holding on. Much Love-Destiny

If you never start

As with my blog and my overall fitness I am going to say one of the greatest things I've really taken to heart on this journey I learned from my first 5k 2010 Turkey Trot. " You never finish if you never start" I'm not really sure what I was waiting on to start my life I mean really start it. I'm so glad I have decided to get this thing started. I had to tell myself there is no seconds in life so in order to live it to the fullest I should skip seconds at the table. Well today I made it I exercised and ate right! Guess it's like any other drug one day at a time! Thanks for bearing with me while I get this thing started. Much Love - Destiny

The beginning

So I'm starting a blog first of all most of the blog will be from my phone. Second I don't really give a crap the grammar so I know it may be jacked up. I'm starting this mostly to hold myself accountable. I know I've also been in search of something like this well at least what I want this to be. A support story I guess. I would love to build a support to help with this. I can find a ton no pun intended of sites with people who really don't want to put their soul into losing weight and as many sites of people who are super fit and don't get me but I needed something for a fat girl that wants to be fit! So here I go!